The way a new bias comes into your life differs from bias to bias. For some it’s from first glance, that feeling of love blossoming into something so pure and beautiful that only grows as the years pass by. For others, it’s a tender affection that forms once you get to know them and their personality.
But my love for 7Order’s Sanada “Sanapi” Yuma? Well…it was far from conventional, I suppose.
I had heard of Sanapi in passing before I knew what he looked like or rather I had heard of his group when he was in STARTO (formerly Johnny’s). Love-tune, Sanapi’s former group, was an insanely popular STARTO Junior unit years ago, and I followed people who loved and adored them. In 2018, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to be a junior fan though. In my head, Juniors were all middle and high school students trying to be the next Arashi. Imagine my surprise when I learned a lot of the popular ones were in their twenties!
But that’s a story for another day.
I had a mild interest in SixTONES despite the “DeBuT tHeM yOu CoWaRdS!?!?!?!” tweets that constantly came blasting through my timeline, but Love-tune? I thought the name was absolutely ridiculous, and I had no interest in becoming their fan. Not that I really had the chance. As 2018 progressed, members of the group slowly left STARTO until Yasui Kentaro was the last one left. His contract ended in April 2019, and he was gone as swiftly as the others.
This was around the time that I had heard the name Sanada Yuma the first time: his announcement that he was leaving/had left STARTO. I remember so clearly seeing his name listed with a few other members of his group. I remember hearing about him popping up at some event and starting social media, but I never followed him or learned his face. He was just another name that I heard in passing.
It wasn’t until that fateful day on September 22nd, 2019 that I finally saw his face. Two friends and I gathered at a Karaoke-kan in Takadanobaba to watch the Shonentachi DVD with Kisumai and A.B.C.-Z. I remember having Sanapi as well as Nozawa “Non-chan” Yuki, both being former members of a Junior group called Mis-Snow-Man, pointed out to me, but I was too deep in my adoration for Sakuma Daisuke to see anyone else on stage.
“Isn’t he a great actor?” my friend asked, pointing out Sanapi.
“Yeah, yeah, sure,” I more than likely said, trying to find the small and angry looking Sakuma in the background and ignoring everyone else on stage.
But my friends had other plans that day. They were going to drag me kicking and screaming into Love-tune, called 7Order in their post STARTO career, whether I liked it or not.
We watched old Shokura performances and Love-tune concert digests where I proceeded to call every single person that came across the screen “Hagi” except for Yasui and a red headed Aran (who I only knew as Aran because of his hair). I was tested on whose first name went with which last name (“WHO THE FUCK IS NAGATSUMA?” I remember shouting when seeing Reo’s impossibly long last name). My friends were doing everything they could to inspire my interest in a group that they loved.
Meanwhile, I was trying to break this 6Hagi + Yasui hold my brain had. I tried a thousand combinations to try and match each member to their name. Myuto? Aran? Yasui? Reo? Moro? Hagi? Hagi? Hagi? HAGI??????? But in all of the chaos caused by my poor facial recognition ability, there was a single name that I never called out: Sanapi.
Months passed and it became a new year before I gave Love-tune, or 7Order, another chance. Their first music video had already been released, and I had ignored it at first. But I remember giving it a try and thinking Sabãoflower was a pretty good song. At the very least I enjoyed it, and I started taking a bit of an interest in Myuto because he stood out with that mane of blond hair.
At the same time, I knew nothing about him, so I wasn’t sure how I would like his personality. I knew nothing about any of their personalities. I had just learned their names and their faces and member colors, but I had yet to dive deep into any of their other content.
But then something strange happened. Something that I had never seen coming. I forced a friend to watch the Sabãoflower music video with me, and a switch was flipped in my heart when I heard Sanapi sing his solo lines in the second verse. His low voice and visuals had an effect on me to the point where my heart was beating out of my chest every time I listened to him sing.
This…this didn’t make any sense. I had listened to this song a few times already, and I had felt nothing towards this boy peering out from behind his long bangs as if he wanted to hide his eyes. I still knew NOTHING about Sanapi except what little my friends had said, and even then, there weren’t any solid facts that were stuck in my brain. I only had his visuals and his voice, but this boy my brain kept forgetting was stealing space inside of my heart.
2020 was a slow year, but I slowly watched more and more 7Order content. I watched their live stream show Unorder and their YouTube content. I learned more about this beautiful soul inside of Sanapi, how he wore his heart on his sleeve, and how talented of a musician that he was. I loved seeing him get teased by his groupmates, and I saw myself so much in him. I truly felt a connection to him unlike any other performer I had biased.
But as 2021 began, I still had yet to see him. I had hit for their debut album tour, We Are One, but elected not to go because the Corona virus was spreading more rapidly around Japan due to the winter holidays. My friends attended and had a wonderful time, and I waited until the live recording was released to watch the performances that I had missed. I bought a ticket to their exhibition to see photos of the concert and the costumes that they wore, and I held onto my hope that 2021 would be the year that I would finally see Sanapi.
Through all of this time, from the end of 2020 to the middle of 2021, I had slowly come to love and appreciate another member of the group, Hagi. He had broken out of his pressure he had put on himself to have a princely image, and the true Hagi, the one deep down in his heart, had slowly started to break through, and I loved the person that was showing through. He was sweet and kind, and I loved the way that he spoke his mind.
In the summer of 2021, Hagi had a stage play, and a friend and I went. It was there, finally seeing a member of 7Order in person, that I began to develop a wonderful love for Hagiya Keigo. Internally, I was conflicted. All of this time I had loved and adored Sanapi. He was my heart and soul, but did I have a double bias in 7Order? Was I really a SanaHagi fan? It felt right in my heart, so I slapped the double bias label on and didn’t think anything else of it, even if one of my friends was very insistent that I didn’t have a double bias.
I won’t pretend that 2021 was full of sunshine and rainbows and happy 7Order love though. A deep jealousy was brewing in my heart from not only my friends going to We Are One but another hitting their fan event in Yokohama and another hitting for their second tour, Nice “Two” Meet You. I was the only one that hadn’t hit for some kind of ticket that summer, and I was deeply frustrated.
There were multiple chances to hit. I tried in every FC ballot and even the general lottery to get tickets, but nothing worked. I slowly gave up hope to go the more my luck failed me. It wasn’t in the cards for me, and I had to accept the jealousy I felt while not letting it affect my friendships. It was difficult. Very difficult. But I tried to be honest about how I felt while being happy for my friends and their luck.
I was grateful for when Sanapi announced he was going to be in a stage play in October. FINALLY! I had the chance to go and see him. I entered the ballot and hit for tickets, and the wicked horrible feelings in my heart slowly evaporated. I couldn’t go see 7Order in concert, but I could see the boy that had my heart. That was good enough for me. There was always more time, another concert. My time would come if I was patient and waited, even if deep in my heart I didn’t want to wait.
It was pure dumb luck when 7Order announced additional shows for their Nice “Two” Meet You tour. They added a few days at a venue called Toyosu Pit. I was still desperate to go but, with how much I failed in the initial ballots, this meant I had a chance…Right? This would be my time to final see them, and I hoped and prayed I wasn’t being too cocky about my chances.
A friend joined me in my ballot, not wanting me to go alone for my first show as well as wanting to know my reactions to seeing 7Order in person and in concert. The day of the results came quickly, and I rushed to check my results the second they were released. I held my breath, wished for whatever god to hear my prayers that I could go, and looked at the results.
I hit.
I was going to see them in concert finally, and I couldn’t contain my tears. This whole feeling of relief washed over me. I was going to see Sanapi. It was finally happening. I was going to my first 7Order concert, and it felt like a pivotal point in my life as a fan. Things were going to be okay.
I won’t lie, I’ve never cried that much at a concert before. I hit for a seat a little more than halfway back for the show, but I was in the first row of a block with a perfect view of where Sanapi would be standing. I cried from the second song, and my heart was full of so much joy watching 7Order sing and perform and interact with the crowd. I listened attentively to their MC and how they interacted with each other while clinging to my Sanapi and Hagi colored ring lights. I was so purely in love with these boys.
But just after an MC, the lights went dark, and I felt my friend lean in and whisper in my ear, “Good luck.” The first notes of the song started to play. My mind was cycling through their songs, trying to figure out which one they were going to perform next. With the first words being sung, I cried.
An important detail I forgot to mention is that I love Sanapi’s songs. He’s composed quite a few music wise but he’s also written lyrics. The one that I love the most is 27. I loved it from the first time that I heard it, always crying while watching it being performed, but my love only increased exponentially upon reading the lyrics. There was something so touching about the words he chose, and the visuals that he spun with them.
I had always said that I would cry the first time that I heard 27 in person, and this version they performed had my tears flowing freely. The acoustic version of 27 was purely beautiful, and I hung onto every word that they sang, especially Sanapi singing the bridge, my favorite lyrics of the whole song. I whole heartedly believe this moment was the happiest that I’ve ever felt.
There was only one thing in my mind that had changed during the concert. One that had me slipping off my Hagi ring light to wear my red one for Sanapi proudly. Throughout the entire show, it felt strange to not watch Sanapi perform. Not that I didn’t enjoy watching Hagi. In my head, it didn’t feel right giving my attention to someone else, and, as I sat near the station with my friend, talking about the concert and memories from it, I knew deep in my heart I didn’t have a double bias in 7Order. It was just Sanapi. It was only ever going to be Sanapi.
Before I knew it, August was sliding into October, and the time for Kill Me Again ’21, Sanapi’s stage play, was fast approaching. Through some force of sheer dumb luck, I had hit incredibly well for the show, dead center close to the front as well as an aisle seat on the left hand side. I had a vague idea of the story going into it, but I had no idea how insanely hilarious the show would become. I still have visions of Sanapi dressed up as a mermaid with curly brown hair to this day.
I’ll forever remember what it was like to sit in those small seats, gazing up at him act and sing on stage. How much my heart was beating seeing his eyes glance in my direction and wanting to believe he was looking at me. How, when I had my aisle seat, I couldn’t help but gaze at him as he walked down the aisle and onto the stage. They were little moments I treasured from being so close to the idol I adored so much.
The first time I ever got fan service from Sanapi will forever be another memory that I’ll hold in my heart. Shortly after their summer tour, they announced a new album as well as another tour: Date with…, and my friends and I all hit to go in February 2022. We also had incredible luck: all of our ballots ending in arena seats with fantastic views.
I spent my first show watching everything, taking in all of the sights and sounds and enjoying every second of the concert to the fullest. Compared to my first 7Order concert experience, I spent a lot less time crying. I laughed and danced and had the time of my life next to one of my closest friends.
The next day I went with another close friend, and this time our seats were on the other side of the arena, right in front of where Sanapi would spend most of the concert. I had the perfect view the entire time of him and enjoyed every second of the show.
I felt like the luckiest person on the face of the planet at the end of the song Moshimo. Sanapi’s ending position was right in front of us, and I fought with my penlight to turn it on as Feel So Good began. Sanapi was right in front of me! He saw me! And when the blazing red color finally filled my penlight, I caught the tail end of a smile as he went to the walkway to sing and dance. According to my friend after the show, he had the largest smile and looked so happy upon seeing what color my penlight was.
It wasn’t until the encore, where the audience chose to hear Monday Morning over Sabãoflower, that he came close again. The boys walked down the walkway, and there was a moment, just a moment, where I felt Sanapi and I’s eyes lock for a few seconds before he smiled and waved at me. Me! I could hardly contain my joy before 7Order settled into their spots to sing one of my favorite songs.
Everything felt right in the universe. My bias had seen me. Acknowledged me. In the two years since I made the conscious decision to become a fan of the group, I had already made so many beautiful memories with him. My heart was at peace. If I died that evening, I would leave this earth feeling content knowing there was a Sanapi smile just for me.
A lot has happened since that fateful tour. Biases have come and gone, some leaving STARTO and others coming in like a wrecking ball to smash the world as I know it. Sanapi might not be the bias that I’ve seen the most. I might not have spent the most money supporting him or buying 7Order goods, but he is one of the most important people in my life.
There are people in fandom that support their biases in different ways. Some love them like a lover, others love their idols like their children. For me, Sanapi is my soulmate. And not even in the romantic sense! No matter where I go, who I see in concert or support or love, my heart will always come back to him. He has become an eternal part of my heart.
It’s incredible to look back on these memories. It’s insane to think that this boy whose name I couldn’t remember stole my heart in a way like no other, and I gave him a chance because of his beautiful voice. I’ve seen him work and grow as a performer over these three years, and I can’t wait to see what he does next.
I love you Sanada Yuma, and I am so proud to be your fan.